1. You can’t pray without the BCP
2. You think deacons are just a little bit better than lay people, priests are even better than deacons, and bishops are way better than everyone.
3. You think the entire world has its eyes glued on Lambeth and the Lambeth conference but the fact that spellcheck always wants to replace Lambeth with Lambert doesn’t give you pause about Lambeth’s importance.
4. You recommend the book Why Catholics Can’t Sing and don’t notice Episcopalians can’t either.
5. You use the phrase “we are proud of (our organ, rectory, stained glass windows…)” in the parish profile never noticing that pride is a sin or realizing the church is not a building or a collection of things.
6. You support the MDGs through The Episcopal Church, but your parish has yet to assess its local mission, budget, or energy use and the Rotary Club has been making water accessible or providing education for young women in developing nations for a couple of decades.
7. When you hear the name Gene Robinson you think of a bishop from New Hampshire and not a Pulitzer Prize-Winning writer for the Washington Post.
8. When The Episcopal Church offered an alternative sign to “TEC Welcomes You” – The Episcopal Church: We’re here for you – you never noticed that the phrase was identical to the copy on service signs at Taco Bell.
9. What David Virtue adds to or detracts from public discourse matters more to you than the rise of Glen Beck.
10. You don’t know who Glen Beck is.
11. You have a fond memory of Gerald Ford’s administration, including the efficacy of the WIN button, because the guy was an Episcopalian.
12. You believe the only people who poke fun at TEC are “conservatives”.
13. You supported Enriching Our Worship for providing liturgies cleansed of sexist language and became a fan of Episcopal Priest Barbie because you think it is a good role model for girls.
14. You wonder why no one’s coming to the Episcopal Church even though you believe TEC “does church” better than anyone else.